This tree has no nodes. No nodes, how does it parse? Recursively!

4th June 1998

The Complete "My Dog's Got No Nose" Compendium

1st man	My dog's got no nose.
2nd man	How does he smell?
1st man	Awful.

    -- Traditional

1st man	My dog's got no nose.
2nd man	How does he smell?
1st man	He doesn't. He's got no nose.

    -- recovered from the mists of time by Stephen ``Haldane'' Sykes

1st man	My dog's got no nose.
2nd man	How does he smell?
1st man	You poke his eyes out.

    -- Mike Taylor

1st man	My dog's got no nose.
2nd man	How does he smell?
1st man	(Pause) ... Well, it's kind of hard to describe really.

    -- Mike Taylor

1st man	My dog's got no nose.
2nd man	How does he smell?
1st man	(Pause) ... It's OK, he has got one really.

    -- Andreas Pagel

1st man	My dog's got no nose.
2nd man	How does he smell?
1st man	(Pause) ... Oh, go and get a glass of water.

    -- Andy Charles, incorporating material from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"

1st man	My dog's got no nose.
2nd man	How does he smell?
1st man	By means of a cunning hydraulic mechanism.

    -- recovered from the mists of time by Stephen ``Haldane'' Sykes

1st man	My dog's got no ears.
2nd man	How does he smell?
1st man	With his nose, obviously.

    -- Mike Taylor

1st man	My dog's got no nose.
2nd man	How does he smell?
1st man	Of his own accord.

    -- Trad., Arr. Mike Taylor

1st man	My dog's over thirteen billion miles long.
2nd man	How does he smell?
1st man	Don't change the subject.

    -- Mike Taylor

1st man	My dog's literally doesn't exist.
2nd man	How does he smell?
1st man	Don't ask stupid questions.

    -- Mike Taylor

1st man	My wife's gone to the West Indies.
2nd man	How does she smell?
1st man	When it's ajar.

    -- Trad., Arr. Mike Taylor

1st man	How do you make a Venetian Urn?
2nd man	I don't know, how do you make a Venetian Urn?
1st man	(Pause) ... I'm sorry, I appear to have made a mistake.

    -- Mike Taylor

1st man	My frog's got no nose.
2nd man	How does it smell?
1st man	Frogs can't smell.

    -- Mike Taylor

1st man	My dog, who incidentally had no nose, died yesterday.
2nd man	How did he smell?
1st man	We shall never know. He died before he could tell me.

    -- Andy Clews

1st Restaurant owner	My dog he die yesterday.
2nd Restaurant owner	How do he smell?
1st Restaurant owner	Don't know, but customers think he taste pretty good.

    -- Andy Clews; Country Of Origin Omitted Here For Sake Of International Relations

1st Circumlocutionist		I have in my possession an animal belonging to the family Canidae, and it appears that he does not possess any extra-facial olfactory organs.
2nd Circumlocutionist		Could you therefore impart to me such knowledge as may be necessary to describe how that animal circumvents the problem of satisfying his olfactory senses?
1st Circumlocutionist		Unfortunately the non-ambiguity of your enquiry does not easily permit me to provide a clever answer, but I am in fact thinking of referring the animal to an olfactologist. However, the animal does have a fairly unpleasant body odour, should you be interested.

    -- Andy Clews

Cannibal Dog	My dog's got no nose.

    -- Mike Lessacher

Senile old fool	My dog's got no nose.
Young delinquent	Why is that?
Senile old fool	He's been dead for 30 years.

    -- Mike Lessacher

Senile old fool	My dog's got no nose.
Young delinquent	Why is that?
Senile old fool	I've been dead for 30 years.

    -- Mike Lessacher

New entry - 5th June 2006

Stephen ``Haldane'' Sykes discovered this at the Disgraceland web-site, www.jlasso.com/disgraceland/74.html

Ramses II	My sphinx has no nose.
Scipio Africanus	How does he smell?
Ramses II	Terrible!

A Blast from the Present - 5th December 2007

Continuing the Complete "My Dog's Got No Nose" Compendium tradition of releasing an update every eighteen months, on the eighteen months, here are a few offerings from Matt Wedel:

Cannibal 1		My brother's got no nose.
Cannibal 2		How does he smell?
Cannibal 1		Delicious!

    -- Matt Wedel

Student		My dog's got no nose.
Teacher		"My dog has no nose."
Student		Yours too?

    -- Matt Wedel

Zoologist		My lungfish's got no nose. Well, it has choanae, but they may not be homologous with those of tetrapods, and recent research indicates --
Non-zoologist		Oh shut up!

    -- Matt Wedel

Covert vampire		Help! I've got no nose!
Unsuspecting victim		Yes you do, you big ninny. Here, come look in the mirror and I'll show you.
Covert vampire		I have to be going now.

    -- Matt Wedel