Bob the Angry Flower

24th November 2000

Bob's Quick Guide to the Apostrophe, You Idiots

www.angryflower.com

There's a lot of frustration in the newspaper cartoon industry aboyt the public's deep ignorance about this elementary punctuation mark. Here, then, is a simple guide to some basic grammar, you illiterate morons.

Contraction

The cat's out of the bag.
CORRECT

Possessive

The cat's feet are out of the bag.
CORRECT

Plural

All the cat's are out of the bag.
NO! WRONG! TOTALLY WRONG! Where'd you learn this? STOP DOING IT!

Some Popular but Incorrect Rules

When pluralizing a word that ends with a vowel, add an apostrophe.

taco's burrito's latte's tomatoe's potato's knive's
This is wrong!

When pluralizing any other word, add an apostrophe.

ball's kitty's car's VCR's sheep's gribbl's
And so is this!

Add an apostrophe whenever you want.

And of course so is this!

An UNWELCOME EDUCATION product.