21st August 2001
IntroductionSo, going on for six months after I sent the Spirit of Mirk CD to Alec, I finally got his comments back. They were worth waiting for! I think it's fair to say that his and my perceptions of these songs are not totally in accord ...
- Mike.
Date: Tue, 21 Aug 2001 10:26:15 +0100 (BST)
From: alec@ssl.co.uk
To: mirk@ssl.co.uk
Subject: SoMirk review
OK, I'm very bored, our internet connection is down and it's too early to play
Quake so here goes ...
(rude words censored for those of a sensitive disposition)
P.S. I'm feeling outspoken so apologies in advance but I'd rather be harsh than
polite any day.
"That was the dullest 73 minutes of my life" (quote overheard mere seconds
after this review and subsequently suggested by Nich as a working title)
1) Hendrix
What can I say - I just don't dig Hendrix and yes, I do think he's highly
overrated as a guitar player (tho' saying he's sh*t, as I have done on many
occasions, may be overstating my case).
P.S. on returning to this having listened to the whole CD I should add that
although I personally don't like Hendrix much it's the one track that gives
me the most hope for your musical salvation.
2) ...
Oh sorry, it's still Hendrix ... "scree wail twoingg mwahhh" - yeah yeah
"GET ON WITH IT!"
2) It Bites
I've actually seen these guys live (at least, I think it was them) doing a
fabulous Genesis tribute night and they were brilliant but this track (as
with many on this CD) is a shiningly AWFUL track choice from a band that's
done some pretty good stuff. If Genesis circa "And Then There Were Three"
decided to make Lamb Lies Down II (i.e. a BAD thing) then this could be on
it ... (there's 1:51 left on the counter but I can bare no more) ... NEXT!
3) (I'm not going to look in case it prejudices me)
1:30 in and I'm still waiting for something on which to base an opinion ...
2:45 still waiting ...
Nope, sorry that track (Dada) appears to be devoid of content.
4) Peter Gabriel (damn, I looked)
Hmmm, I hadn't heard this track pre Spirit of Mirk but it sounds very
"So/Mercy Street" era. It's probably brilliant for auditioning speaker
cable insulation or marmite sandwiches or something but it's dull as
dishwater for actually listening to.
5) Aretha Franklin
OK, apart from the spoken intro this is alright (although personally I'd
have chosen "Say A Little Prayer"). I was just going to say I'm getting a
bit bored around the 3:30 mark when it finished - nice timing.
Let's see now, from previous experience of listening to this CD I seem to
remember that around about this point I start seriously wishing for something
to liven things up a bit (The Sex Pistols or The Pixies maybe?)
6) Joni Mitchell
Arghhhhh!
7) Paul Simon
Again, I actually have a lot (well, a bit) of time for Paul Simon (in
particular, Graceland was brilliant). But this ... if music were pizza
then this would be a medium ham and mushroom.
At this stage in the proceedings I have a theory. When asked about "great
albums" I tend to use the phrase "the whole being more than the sum of the
parts". Well one of the problems I have with SoMirk is that the "whole is
considerably less than the sum of the parts". Now I realise this is not your
fault, it's a compilation not a concept album and I'm sure I'd enjoy (ish)
some of these tracks in isolation, but seriously - if I hear anything else
"nice" in the next 15 minutes I'm going to have to go for a coffee.
8) Quake II
Bugger, bang goes the coffee punchline, but seriously ... why? Don't get
me wrong, it's a great COMPUTER GAME but you surely cannot believe this is
one of the top 20 all-time greatest pieces of MUSIC ever made. I can only
assume you went barking mad for a second there.
9) The Rutles
!$&!! (that's the sound of me physically jumping in my seat)
Something with a beat .. it was just so unexpected ... or ... was I set
up by the forboding Quake soundtrack? ... ah ha! I'm on to you.
P.S. still crap tho'
10) Spinal Tap
No, sorry - I don't understand why you think this is funny. In summary ..
Comedy in all it's many resplendent forms = funny
Spinal Tap = not funny
11) Simpsons
Also quite funny (tho' I've never watched it on a regular basis). You know
what ... I like it ... in fact you're dangerously close to this being the
best track on the CD!
12) Abba
And again - another poor track choice from a band that's done some great
stuff (...<thinks>... damn, none spring to mind but they've done loads of
great stuff).
13) DC Talk
(phew, that coffee was long overdue)
I'm really searching for things to like and I've come up with the whubba
whubba sound used in the background at intervals throughout the track. Ah
yes, this is probably the most influential whubba whubba sound to have come
out of the 20th century music industry since since the famously hairlipped
lead singer of Plugh gave us the unforgettable "You're my rubber lover".
14) The Eels
<stop press> this track is alright!
Mind you, I took their CD back after a week 'cos it wasn't good enough to
appear in my top 650 - still ... well done, a good effort!
15) ooh ooh I know this, it's a bit crap but ... NO! ... The Waterboys
Now this really takes the biscuit. I would rate the Waterboys as excellent
but you've done it again. Please tell me this is the only Waterboys track
you've ever heard and that you didn't actually select it in favour of, well
practically any other Waterboys track I can think of.
16) Simon and Garfunkel
Yeah, they're great ... ham and mushroom but great.
17) Sting
"Hello, my name is Alec Turner and ... (gulp) ... I LIKE Sting"
There, I've said it, now let's press on before someone sees this on my
screen.
Oh, and I appreciate the resonance of including this track on a "Spirit of"
CD. Just the sort of thing I enjoy trying to do on SoSSL.
18) Sly and the Family Stone
Hmmm, my foot appears to be tapping slightly - I may decide to pursue this
funky music style further.
2:30 - then again (nothing specifically bad happens at this point in the
track you understand, it's just that it's still going and I've become
disillusioned).
19) Louis Armstrong
Hurray! At the eleventh hour a stone cold, certifiable f***ing classic!
In last years HMV millenium music poll I nominated this as the greatest
track of all time.
20) Michael Jackson?, oh sorry - Phil Keaggy
... no, I've stared into space looking for a poetic final paragraph for a
full 2:29 now but nothing comes to mind, I shall have to consult Roger's
Profanisaurus ... this track "Yaffles The Yoghurt Canon"
Having got to the end I realise I haven't given any scores but I'm so taken
with my "ham and mushroom" analogy that I'm going to give each track a food
rating instead.
1) Hendrix dahl
2) It Bites egg soup
3) Dada rocket lettuce
4) Peter Gabriel a very small profiterole
5) Aretha Franklin chocolate mousse
6) Joni Mitchell Yakult
7) Paul Simon ham and mushroom pizza (thin 'n crispy)
8) Quake unidentifiable grey liquid
9) The Rutles bag of frazzles
10) Spinal Tap cabbage stew
11) The Simpsons jelly
12) Abba Nutella spread sandwich
13) DC Talk Pizza Hut eat-all-you-can salad bar
14) The Eels cornish pastie
15) The Waterboys a pineapple ring
16) Simon & Garfunkel ham and mushroom pizza (deep pan)
17) Sting jam dougnut
18) Sly ... pork char sui
19) Louis Armstrong Cappuccino
20) Phil Keaggy more Yakult
Believe it or not I actually thought long and hard about these and I think I've
managed to sum up my cullinary feellings toward each track quite well. Anyway,
it appears to be tomorrow morning and I'm still writing this so I'll call it a
day.
... Alec
NoteIn a subsequent email, Alec explained that ``I asked around the office for the name of a really "sloppy" indian food ('cos I'm not that fond of sloppy myself, preferring chicken tikka) and Nich came up with Dahl''. And also that ``Yakult is a rather nasty, small yoghurt drink.''
(I will resist the temptation to defend my musical choices, but can't help mentioning in passing that these comments come from someone whose top-ten compilation includes Kraftwerk's The Model.)
- Mike.